Today is the 22nd again! That means that there are exactly two months until my birthday (yes, I still count down like a seven-year-old) and it also marks my celiac anniversary.
So, two months in. Early on, this was really the time frame I was looking forward to. In two months, things would be normal, I would feel okay. Two months is enough to time see if the gluten was making me sick, or if I'm still sick to test for other things. Two months makes me not a newbie anymore.
Umm, yeah. I still feel like a newbie. I'm still incredibly new to all of this. I'm still floundering. Today, I started craving McDonalds or Burger King. I never liked either of them to begin with! I still feel sick sometimes without being able to pinpoint a culprit.
I like to think that by the six month mark, I'll be where I want to be, but I don't think I will. It could take years before this really becomes normal.
I have three more weeks at my job, and then I have to work somewhere that won't be as forgiving about missing time, being late, or going home sick. I knew all along that mid-May was my timeframe to be "back to normal" or else.
So even if I don't feel normal, I'm going to have to start sucking it up and acting normal in T minus three weeks. In the meantime, I promised myself I'm going to make it through my last two paychecks without missing any time. I might actually miss a bit of time, but I absolutely have to work it back with lunch breaks and staying late. Or so I promised myself. I have to get used to showing up for work. Oh, that sounds so bad. I wish you knew how chill my boss is.
I rewrote my resume today. I don't think I've written one since I got married. I browsed some jobs, and emailed it off once. I do still have three weeks. That's not even normal quitting time yet. And I am crossing my fingers for another city job. I'm pretty well guaranteed a city job, but two of the three I applied for last for like six weeks, and the other one lasts for like three months, so I'm holding my breath for that one. But even if I do get it, it doesn't start until June, which leaves me two weeks without a job, and more than a month without a paycheck...
Wow. I haven't written such a rambling post in a while. I guess everytime I cross a little landmark I start thinking about what all this means. Oh, and my cravings have been really bad lately.