Tuesday, 24 December 2013

Home, Safe & Sound

Well, my husband is home. We survived eight weeks apart, and most importantly, neither of us were diagnosed with anything life-changing. Or really anything at all. In fact, nothing of major note happened at all. Isn't that beautiful.

Since this is my blog, and I get to say whatever I want here, I'm going to tell you the truth.

I've been freaking out a lot.

Especially on Friday. I was very nervous on Friday. It's not going to make a lot of sense to a lot of people, but I got the fairly life-changing diagnosis call on the day that M finished school last time. In fact, I got the call while he was being driven home. I had wanted to go pick him up, but there was something he wanted to go to before I could get him home, so he hitched a ride.

If my diagnosis had come in the middle of a work day, while M was just at work, or while I was home, eating lunch, or during any normal, run-of-the-mill moment in my life, I would be over it by now. I would have repeated that exact moment over and over again until that specific set of circumstances would be manageable. But it didn't. It happened during a set of circumstances that had never happened before, but would happen again.

I tried to avoid it. M was done school on Friday, and I wanted to go pick M up. I actually wanted to spend the weekend there with him, and bring him home on Sunday. Tragedy avoided, right?

Not right. Turns out his work Christmas party was on Friday. And he wanted to go.

So now, there was some event he wanted to make it to, and he hitched a ride with a classmate, while I was at work. The exact circumstances, all over again.

I don't know what I expected to happen, but I spent a lot of time staring at my cellphone, willing it not to ring. No phone call could be a good call at that point.

Around 11:30 (the time I got that first call), a friend at work wandered past my desk. I admitted how I was feeling, and how freaked out I was. She assured me there was nothing to worry about, which helped shake the feeling a little bit.

M got home mid-afternoon, and all was well. Everything went smoothly, and there was really nothing to worry about, at all.

I know I was just being neurotic, but thankfully there was no real reason to be so freaked out.

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