My life, lately

I haven't been doing much that's blog-worthy, but I have been doing lots of things lately, so here's a quick summary of my current obsessions, hair colour and foods I've been buying.

My sister and I dyed our hair from the same box of dye, so now we have the exact same colour of hair. No one will notice, though, because we're sisters, and they expect us to look alike. (PS, we both dyed our hair as close to natural as possible, because we both have grays coming in. What is up with that?)

On my slow journey towards cutting all dairy out, I bought some dairy-free coffee creamer. I've tried a few kinds, and this is my favourite! I honestly can't tell it's not dairy, and I feel just a little bit better throughout my day.

Playing with Vintage Hair

Okay, so I love vintage things. I have always had a fancy for old things. I love looking at photos from the 60's and earlier, and I've bought a few dresses just because they evoked something oh-so-50's (or another era). I'm not obsessed, I don't buy strictly vintage, I'm no expert, but I love it.

I love old houses, with their sweet little charms like keyholes, strange closets and wood floors. I love mid-century homes, with their kitchen islands, breakfast nooks, floral wallpaper, counter-height ovens, counter-top stoves and housewife-charm.

I especially love the fashion of bygone days. I love full skirts with fitted waists, petticoats and crinolines and adorable peep-toe pumps. I love the dramatic hair styles, be it a big bouffant look of the 60's or a sleek curled do from the 40's.

So I guess the point is that I've always loved vintage, but lately I've discovered a few blogs from girls who dress vintage every day. I envy them, but I could never. I like to be comfortable on occasion, I am also far too hard on my clothes to buy 60-year-old clothes and actually wear them, and I am far too cheap to pay the prices for reproduction vintage constantly.

Along with the blogs come amazing hair tutorials. I've tried to emulate 50's and 60's hair a few times before, but it always falls short. With a few helpful tutorials in mind, and knowing what tools I need, I figured a few out.

Back to Glutened

Well, it's been awhile since I felt this way, but I guess I got sick again. Like, gluten sick, as opposed to dairy sick, and contagious sick. It started Wednesday night, right after my fifteen minute break at work. All of the sudden, I felt like I hit a brick wall. I was sapped, and had zero energy, and then my stomach started cramping. My coworker said I looked like I was going to throw up, and I should just go home, but I really wanted to stick it out and make it through the night. There was less than an hour left at that point. So I sat down a bit longer, toughed it out, and went home, feeling like total crap.

All day Thursday, I just got worse. I wanted to curl up under my desk and die/nap. A couple of my coworkers could tell, and one of them told me to go home, but I had to work after work, and I didn't want to miss both. In fact, I didn't want to miss either.

Robynne and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day

You ever have those days that by 9am you just want the day to end? Today was one of those days.

It started self-inflicted. I stayed up until midnight watching How I Met Your Mother. I knew it was a bad idea, and I knew I would pay for it, but I didn't care... then.

I usually wake up at 7, force myself out of bed by 7:15, get dressed and done up by 7:30, and then eat and leave for work at 7:45. Today, I woke up at 7:20, got out of bed at 7:30, got dressed by 7:40, and that left five minutes to eat breakfast. Whoops.

I poured some cereal, like I eat every single morning. The milk says it expires today, but it's usually good for a few days, so I sniffed it. I have this problem where expired milk smells normal to me. When I worked at a grocery store, someone brought in gone-bad milk. I smelled it, and it smelled fine. I got my coworker to take a whiff, and he spent five minutes gagging. So... I have a problem. I asked M to smell the milk this morning, but he has a cold coming on, so he said it's fine too. I poured it, and it looked a little funny, but I told myself that was all in my head.

I took a big bite, and instantly spit it out. I then spent five minutes over the sink, rinsing out my mouth and dry heaving. So... I guess the milk went bad. Awesome. I then went to throw out the contents of my cereal bowl, and threw out the spoon too. And I couldn't find it, so I just sent the bag out with M with a spoon in it. Oh well.

By then, it was time to leave for work, so I just grabbed an applesauce and left. Got to work just fine, and early enough. Clocked in, put my purse away, and realized I was wearing sandals. Like, bright blue plastic flip flops. I wear dress pants and dress shirts to work everyday, with black flats, not flip flops.

Thankfully, I keep a back-up pair of ballerina shoes in my purse. They're comfortable, and small, so they store in my purse nicely. I've kept them there for months, and used them every now and then. So then I was wearing leather dance shoes at work, but no one noticed.

Over the next ten minutes, I proceeded to log in with the wrong password, answer the phone wrong, and spill water on my pants. The day really did not get much better from there.

Lesson learned? I need sleep more than How I Met Your Mother.

Day 85: Happy Birthday, As of Yesterday!

Worked again today. An awful shift; 1-9.

After work, I went straight to a birthday party. So I didn't really get anything done today at all, but hey, I had fun.

All of my highschool friends have birthdays within two months of mine, so there's like this season in April-May-June of birthday parties. I love it.

It was lots of fun, I loved hanging out with a whole bunch of friends. I didn't even flinch with all the food on the table and not being able mooch and eat any of it. I did flinch with all the drinks though. My friends next to me were all drinking yummy-looking things, and I kept wanting to steal a sip, or leaning into the straws. I don't actually want alcohol, and I don't actually want to get drunk, I just want to have fun and forget my stomach for one night.

Oh, and her birthday was yesterday, which is why the title. :)

Day 84: First day

I started the new job today. I'm not exactly thrilled to be working retail, but I'm glad for the change of pace, and I think it'll be fun. I spent pretty much most of today reading training materials and watched training videos, and then stocked shoes. Golly, I feel like I haven't had such a boring day in ever, but actually I just had differently boring days.

After work, I made some basic chicken wings and some pasta. Ugh. Working on my feet really tired me out.

I'm really going to try to keep up with baking, cooking and blogging, but the first few days of work is gonna be rough.

Day 82: Downtown Boston Pizza

So, today was my last day of my job. It still feels a little surreal. I'm probably going to wake up tomorrow and start getting ready for work. I wrapped up my projects, showed my supervisor where I was leaving off, signed a paper or two, and handed in my key. That was the saddest part, I think.

Oh, and we went out for lunch. My office is pretty small, so we planned to all go out for lunch to celebrate my last day. Actually, only four of the guys and I went, because the other five all bailed. Lame-o's. Anyways, so five of us went to Boston Pizza. I wanted to pick something downtown so we could walk, and I haven't really eaten anywhere downtown, but I have eaten at the other Boston Pizza, and they're always really good and have several options, so I naturally picked it.

Let me just say, not impressed. I mean, I had a great time. It was great to sit and chat with the guys, and it was a nice closure, and my food was good... But I'm not eating there again.

First of all, I ordered the Tuscon Linguine, sub Glutenwise pasta, and alerted the waitress that I have a gluten allergy. My food came, and I first made sure I got the right pasta, then pulled out my fork, stabbed a piece of rotini, and froze. There was a big hunk of garlic toast sitting right on top of the whole thing. Just sitting there, staring at me. Taunting me.

My co-worker said, "Did they give you the right pasta?"

I had this moment of debate, where I tried to decide if I should just move the garlic toast and eat the pasta, or if I should just eat all the pasta that wasn't touching it, or if I should make a stink, but I was afraid my coworkers would judge me, or think I was making too big of a deal about it.

All I could say was, "There's garlic toast on top of it."

As they realized what that meant, they all said things like, "You said it was an allergy, I heard you say it was an allergy!" and "Send that back. Don't eat it." and "Make sure they actually remake it. They might just pull it off and call it good." I felt very supported. I'm so thankful for all the people in my life who understand.

So when the waitress came by, I asked her to make me a new one, and then when it came, I turned the whole plate around to check for bread crumbs, and it was also piping hot, so I'm actually pretty sure they did make me a new one.

And then my coworker, who had gotten a pulled pork sandwich, discovered the bottom of his bun was moldy.

They remade his food too. And we both got our meals for free.

Which is great, and normally would make me think it's worth going there again, but it's not. There are two Boston Pizza's here, and they're about a ten minute drive apart. So I will keep going to the Thatcher BP's (where I have never had a contamination problem), and not the downtown one, ever again. So not worth it.

Day 60: Happy Two Months

Today is the 22nd again! That means that there are exactly two months until my birthday (yes, I still count down like a seven-year-old) and it also marks my celiac anniversary.

So, two months in. Early on, this was really the time frame I was looking forward to. In two months, things would be normal, I would feel okay. Two months is enough to time see if the gluten was making me sick, or if I'm still sick to test for other things. Two months makes me not a newbie anymore.

Umm, yeah. I still feel like a newbie. I'm still incredibly new to all of this. I'm still floundering. Today, I started craving McDonalds or Burger King. I never liked either of them to begin with! I still feel sick sometimes without being able to pinpoint a culprit.

I like to think that by the six month mark, I'll be where I want to be, but I don't think I will. It could take years before this really becomes normal.

I have three more weeks at my job, and then I have to work somewhere that won't be as forgiving about missing time, being late, or going home sick. I knew all along that mid-May was my timeframe to be "back to normal" or else.

So even if I don't feel normal, I'm going to have to start sucking it up and acting normal in T minus three weeks. In the meantime, I promised myself I'm going to make it through my last two paychecks without missing any time. I might actually miss a bit of time, but I absolutely have to work it back with lunch breaks and staying late. Or so I promised myself. I have to get used to showing up for work. Oh, that sounds so bad. I wish you knew how chill my boss is.

I rewrote my resume today. I don't think I've written one since I got married. I browsed some jobs, and emailed it off once. I do still have three weeks. That's not even normal quitting time yet. And I am crossing my fingers for another city job. I'm pretty well guaranteed a city job, but two of the three I applied for last for like six weeks, and the other one lasts for like three months, so I'm holding my breath for that one. But even if I do get it, it doesn't start until June, which leaves me two weeks without a job, and more than a month without a paycheck...

Wow. I haven't written such a rambling post in a while. I guess everytime I cross a little landmark I start thinking about what all this means. Oh, and my cravings have been really bad lately.

Day 12: The beginning of chickpeas.

This morning, just after my husband left for work, he realized he forgot to give the dog her meds, and to take his own meds. Apparently he usually does them together so as not to forget either. So I gave the pooch her meds, and agreed to bring him his at lunch. I then texted my boss to let him know I'd be a tad late, because I slept in a bit. I have a really chill job. Then I texted the hubs to ask where his pills were. Awhile later, after wondering why on earth my husband hadn't texted me back, I opened my phone and discovered I mistakenly sent "Where are your pills?" to my boss. So it could have been a lot worse, but I was pretty embarrassed. When I got to work, he just laughed and said he'd once sent a slightly embarrassing text to one of the engineers instead of his wife.

So that's my funny story of the day. And the highlight of my work day. I have a very chill, very boring job.

For dinner I did some experimenting! I found a bag of baby carrots that are getting kind of old, and cooked those up and glazed them the way my mom always did. She'd always cook sliced carrots, and then stir them with some butter and some brown sugar. I once asked her how much, and she said, "Enough." So yeah, I know they're not "healthy" per se, but they are veggies, and they are delicious.

Feeling inspired by my pulse cookbook, I also cooked a bunch of baby potatoes, and then mashed them with some chickpeas. Someone said you hardly notice once they're mashed. I didn't taste anything different, but they were visible. We're out of milk, so the potatoes were dry in general, but that was my husband's only complaint.

I also fried some plain chicken breast with seasoning salt, another one of my mom's classics. Dinner was good, and felt healthy, even if it wasn't by "healthy eating standards" it was by ours. Ah, now you know. We've never eaten healthy. We're very unhealthy eaters. Have been since we got married. We're all drive-throughs and taco nights, and hardly ever have fruits or veggies in the house.

We went to Bulk Barn after dinner. I read a recipe for a gluten-free flour that is supposed to make things taste gluten-y, and I wanted to try it, but I didn't have any of the ingredients. So I bought about a cup of all the flours, and a very expensive bag of xantham gum, which I've read makes everything better when baking. I also picked up some gluten-free cookies, but shhh....

And actually! The cookies taste legit. Check them out. Kinnikinnick Food's KinniToos Vanilla Sandwich Creme Cookies. They're basically blonde oreos. I was gonna buy the chocolate ones (so normal oreos) but I was afraid of disappointment, so I bought ones that were more different from what I normally eat. I might try the chocolate ones now, though. I've heard good things about Kinnikinnick (if you can spell their name) on the celiac forums, and I might check out more of their products now.

Anyways... I mixed up that flour mix, but I just don't have the energy to make cookies right now. I want to make a batch of cookies with each of my gluten-free flours now, so I'll try to do that tomorrow. Oh, but the flour mix... One of the flours is oat flour, so it's really not like 100% gluten free. And the coconut flour smells amazing. I've never smelled flour that smelled so good. I just kept sniffing it. Mmm... I wanna make cookies with just that flour.

Day Four: Taco Chips and Chili

Today is Monday, which means work. First time at work since the diagnosis. Which really isn't really a big deal, but it seems like one. Every first will be a big deal for a little while. The first time I eat at someone else's house, the first time I work with gluten-free flour, the first time I handle a holiday, the first... Oh, I'm sure you get the idea. I decided that I should tell my supervisor at work, since he knew I had been sick, but I really wasn't sure how.

So at coffee break, when we all walked down the block to a coffee shop, I told him I got my test results back. I seriously deliberated for the longest time over when to bring it up and how, but that's how. So I told all the guys I work with about the diagnosis, and we talked about it for a bit, and then it turns out one of the guys has been gluten-free for a year and a half! And not only did I not know, but the two guys who actually spend time with him after work didn't know. That gave me hope, because he's not one of those obnoxious about gluten people, so why do I have to be?

It also made me feel better than now they know why I've missed work, and why I seem so bedraggled some mornings.

The next hurdle was lunch time. I decided on canned chili, but I prefer chili with a slice of buttered bread. So I looked in the cupboard and... Ba na na na [insert little Zelda tune here] I found Tostitos Scoops! Such a fantastic idea, and it tasted amazing. Seriously. Best idea so far. Think about it.

Anyways, the afternoon was really rough because I felt all bloaty and gassy. It takes some time to clean out all the gluten, and more time to heal up my damaged intestine, so I know I won't feel top shelf right away, I just wish I could stop feeling so goshdarn awful.

That all meant I was pretty grumpy when I got home, but we had to pick up a prescription for my husband and then stop by his parents' place and tell them. So I was even more grumpy when it came time to make dinner. And apparently, being grumpy means not cooking, because I had a premade salad and some gluten-free crackers and cheese. Oh, and the crackers tasted weird.